I Loved and I Lost

Days...months...years...It no longer mattered to me.

I am having the time of my life. I wake everyday with a new purpose, with new energy, energy that I never had before this, energy that I could not seem to find. 
I was stuck in a rut, the typical rat race of life. I wake, I eat, I work, I sleep then I wake again and the cycle repeats. Day after day, it was nothing but gray skies and gray moods.

All that changed when I met you.

You took me out of my comfort zone so much so that I had nervous breakdowns at the end of the day. You dragged me out to parties, crowds, music. Situations that I avoided at all costs. People that I chose not to meet. Songs that I never listened to.

You showed me life. You were my life!

I am born again. Renewed. Set free. You gave me my wings and all I wanted to do day after day was to fly beside you. To go with you wherever you wanted to go. To do whatever you wanted to do. I abandoned all else. Family no longer in my mind. Friends no longer had my time. Because of you, I was at my prime.

Without warning, I was shot down.

You flew on. You flapped your wings harder than ever and you raised higher and higher into the skies. I tried to keep up. With all my might I flew to catch up to you. Every second slipped by, you slipped further away.

You turned around, and shot me again.

Wingless, I fell. Free-falling from a thousand feet in the air, I had no way to stop much less slow down. All I could do was close my eyes and braced for the inevitable impact. I fell and fell and I fell hard. Every part of me broke but the most hurt came from inside my chest. A scar unseen but a scar deep within.

A barren land. Vast nothingness surrounded me.

I was broken. I was alone. I was too far from my family. I was too late for my friends. I lay in the field, watching the stars move by and the moon shine so bright. I prayed and hoped for a ray of light, a stranger who I may catch sight.

Alas no one came.

Night gave way to day. Clear blue skies. The sun rained it's rays with a vengeance as if to tell me you deserved it. Broken. Scared. I stood slowly and took my first step. My first step back into life. A different life, one that I am yet to find but find I will.

I loved and I lost. I found love but I lost myself.